As the Philadelphia Eagles are preparing for a playoff
game that was unexpected at the onset of this season, I would like to talk about
Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboy quarterback. Everyone who follows the NFL is aware
of the “fact” that Romo falls apart in December. Analysts talk at length about
how Romo can’t handle the pressure of the big games late in the season and that
he makes big mistakes that determine his team’s playoff fate. It is easy to
focus on his mistakes during these big games because the light shines
brightest. Plus we feed into this mistake scrutiny because as a culture we are
obsessed with mistakes of others, whether it is Romo, Miley Cyrus, Lance
Armstrong, or Mel Gibson. Is this true that Romo folds with the pressure? Most
NFL fans would reply with a resounding yes. There is evidence to support this. A
botched field goal hold against the Seahawks in the playoffs in 2006, a 2007
loss to the Giants in the playoffs, and losses in “win or go home games” in the
final week in 2008, 2011, and 2012. But let’s look a little deeper. Romo has the
most fourth quarter comebacks and game winning drives since 2011, since 2009 he
has thrown 27 touchdowns and only 5 interceptions in December, and from
2009-2012 (with a minimum of 200 passing attempts) Romo has a December
quarterback rating of 106 which is higher than Drew Brees, Tom Brady, and Peyton
Manning.
It is a little confusing because there is evidence to
support both sides of the “Does Romo fall apart in December?” debate. The
reason I mention Tony Romo is because it is likely he has conducted this debate
in his own head, similarly to how each of us analyze our own mistakes. But have
you ever taken the time to imagine that what we say to ourselves after a
mistake is sometimes wrong and inaccurate. Think about a time when you were
rejected by a love interest, missed out on a potential job, got cut from a
sport team, or a friend was no longer a friend. Did you tell yourself that you
were ugly, too stupid, too slow, or just not good enough? Was this
self-criticism accurate? Sometimes yes, but more often no. The problem is we
rarely try to distinguish between valid and invalid self-criticism. For example,
when rejected by your crush, maybe you are not attractive to that particular
person, but it does not mean that you are an altogether unattractive person.
When you got cut from your soccer team, it might mean that you were not skilled
enough for that team. But it does not mean that you’re a terrible player who
will never find another team and continue to have fun and develop as a
player.
Consider the possibility that it is your vanity kicking
in when you beat yourself up for a mistake. The vain underlying message that
accompanies that severe self-criticism is that you are supposed to be good at
everything all of the time. It is vain to think you should be perfect and free
from mistakes. It can be helpful to reframe what a mistake means to you. It
does not have to mean that you are not pretty, smart, talented, or good enough.
Mistake making can be a form of instruction because we learn from our mistakes.
The research shows that when you allow yourself to make mistakes you are more
likely to learn on a deeper level.
Predictions for Saturday’s game between the Eagles and
Saints are welcome as well as any comments and/or questions about this and all
blogs:
Eagles 34 Saints 30
game that was unexpected at the onset of this season, I would like to talk about
Tony Romo, the Dallas Cowboy quarterback. Everyone who follows the NFL is aware
of the “fact” that Romo falls apart in December. Analysts talk at length about
how Romo can’t handle the pressure of the big games late in the season and that
he makes big mistakes that determine his team’s playoff fate. It is easy to
focus on his mistakes during these big games because the light shines
brightest. Plus we feed into this mistake scrutiny because as a culture we are
obsessed with mistakes of others, whether it is Romo, Miley Cyrus, Lance
Armstrong, or Mel Gibson. Is this true that Romo folds with the pressure? Most
NFL fans would reply with a resounding yes. There is evidence to support this. A
botched field goal hold against the Seahawks in the playoffs in 2006, a 2007
loss to the Giants in the playoffs, and losses in “win or go home games” in the
final week in 2008, 2011, and 2012. But let’s look a little deeper. Romo has the
most fourth quarter comebacks and game winning drives since 2011, since 2009 he
has thrown 27 touchdowns and only 5 interceptions in December, and from
2009-2012 (with a minimum of 200 passing attempts) Romo has a December
quarterback rating of 106 which is higher than Drew Brees, Tom Brady, and Peyton
Manning.
It is a little confusing because there is evidence to
support both sides of the “Does Romo fall apart in December?” debate. The
reason I mention Tony Romo is because it is likely he has conducted this debate
in his own head, similarly to how each of us analyze our own mistakes. But have
you ever taken the time to imagine that what we say to ourselves after a
mistake is sometimes wrong and inaccurate. Think about a time when you were
rejected by a love interest, missed out on a potential job, got cut from a
sport team, or a friend was no longer a friend. Did you tell yourself that you
were ugly, too stupid, too slow, or just not good enough? Was this
self-criticism accurate? Sometimes yes, but more often no. The problem is we
rarely try to distinguish between valid and invalid self-criticism. For example,
when rejected by your crush, maybe you are not attractive to that particular
person, but it does not mean that you are an altogether unattractive person.
When you got cut from your soccer team, it might mean that you were not skilled
enough for that team. But it does not mean that you’re a terrible player who
will never find another team and continue to have fun and develop as a
player.
Consider the possibility that it is your vanity kicking
in when you beat yourself up for a mistake. The vain underlying message that
accompanies that severe self-criticism is that you are supposed to be good at
everything all of the time. It is vain to think you should be perfect and free
from mistakes. It can be helpful to reframe what a mistake means to you. It
does not have to mean that you are not pretty, smart, talented, or good enough.
Mistake making can be a form of instruction because we learn from our mistakes.
The research shows that when you allow yourself to make mistakes you are more
likely to learn on a deeper level.
Predictions for Saturday’s game between the Eagles and
Saints are welcome as well as any comments and/or questions about this and all
blogs:
Eagles 34 Saints 30
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