It would be very easy to focus attention on the bizarre
and appalling youtube clips and news stories of parents and coaches berating
players, screaming at referees, and getting into fist fights over the outcome
of youth sports. I’ll admit there is a morbid curiosity, much like staring at
an accident on the side of the road. But the actions and words of those extreme
parents and coaches are obviously wrong and damaging to the athletes on the
field. Most parents can say with a lot of confidence, “That’s not me.” However
we sometimes forget that the more subtle and understated actions, words,
gestures, and tone of voice can also have a negative impact on young players
and children.
Whether you are a parent, coach, or spectator, the best
thing you can do is monitor your behavior and treatment of the players. This
requires one to constantly and honestly ask “what is motivating my actions and
comments.” For example, instructions may be hollered because the adult does not
want to be embarrassed when their child/players fail. Adults might become
enraged or depressed when their child/team loses. Adults sometime will
excessively bask in the reflective glory when talking to others about their
child’s/team’s success. I’m not saying you have to suppress all of the emotions
that come with being on the sideline or in the stands. That’s part of the fun
and excitement, but there are times when that fun and excitement lead to poor
sideline behavior. Parents and coaches should continuously have to remind
themselves that it is about the athletes playing the sport and it is not about
my feelings or how my kids’ performance reflects on me as a parent or coach.
As a college coach I have learned that constant chirping
or screaming from the sideline, even if it is just giving useful instructions,
will either get tuned out by the players or it will become a distraction. The
best coaches and most supportive parents are the ones who have taken the time
to teach, train, and prepare the players prior to the games, while offering
support, comfort, and appropriate feedback after the game. The last thing to
consider is how attuned your child/players are to their teammates. Adolescents
and young adults are keenly aware of their social surroundings and how others
perceive them. Kids are embarrassed when a parent says “hi” to them in a public
setting. Think about how embarrassed your child might be when you are screaming
at a bad call or telling them to work harder and how that embarrassment leads to
poor performance.
Five Warning Signs For Parents
1. Neglecting sportsmanship in the face of winning/individual gains
2. Having different goals than your child
3. Treating your child differently when they lose
4. Undermining the coach
5. Fulfilling your own sports needs through your child or your team
Five Positive Signs For Parents
1. Cheering for everybody
2. Appropriate role-modeling
3. Having appropriate boundaries with the coach
4. Knowing your role—
5. Being a good listener/encourager
*Feel free to contact me if you are interested having me
present sport psychology information to players, coaches, and/or
adults.
and appalling youtube clips and news stories of parents and coaches berating
players, screaming at referees, and getting into fist fights over the outcome
of youth sports. I’ll admit there is a morbid curiosity, much like staring at
an accident on the side of the road. But the actions and words of those extreme
parents and coaches are obviously wrong and damaging to the athletes on the
field. Most parents can say with a lot of confidence, “That’s not me.” However
we sometimes forget that the more subtle and understated actions, words,
gestures, and tone of voice can also have a negative impact on young players
and children.
Whether you are a parent, coach, or spectator, the best
thing you can do is monitor your behavior and treatment of the players. This
requires one to constantly and honestly ask “what is motivating my actions and
comments.” For example, instructions may be hollered because the adult does not
want to be embarrassed when their child/players fail. Adults might become
enraged or depressed when their child/team loses. Adults sometime will
excessively bask in the reflective glory when talking to others about their
child’s/team’s success. I’m not saying you have to suppress all of the emotions
that come with being on the sideline or in the stands. That’s part of the fun
and excitement, but there are times when that fun and excitement lead to poor
sideline behavior. Parents and coaches should continuously have to remind
themselves that it is about the athletes playing the sport and it is not about
my feelings or how my kids’ performance reflects on me as a parent or coach.
As a college coach I have learned that constant chirping
or screaming from the sideline, even if it is just giving useful instructions,
will either get tuned out by the players or it will become a distraction. The
best coaches and most supportive parents are the ones who have taken the time
to teach, train, and prepare the players prior to the games, while offering
support, comfort, and appropriate feedback after the game. The last thing to
consider is how attuned your child/players are to their teammates. Adolescents
and young adults are keenly aware of their social surroundings and how others
perceive them. Kids are embarrassed when a parent says “hi” to them in a public
setting. Think about how embarrassed your child might be when you are screaming
at a bad call or telling them to work harder and how that embarrassment leads to
poor performance.
Five Warning Signs For Parents
1. Neglecting sportsmanship in the face of winning/individual gains
2. Having different goals than your child
3. Treating your child differently when they lose
4. Undermining the coach
5. Fulfilling your own sports needs through your child or your team
Five Positive Signs For Parents
1. Cheering for everybody
2. Appropriate role-modeling
3. Having appropriate boundaries with the coach
4. Knowing your role—
5. Being a good listener/encourager
*Feel free to contact me if you are interested having me
present sport psychology information to players, coaches, and/or
adults.
RSS Feed
