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The Fear That Motivates and Paralyzes

9/23/2013

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I wrote this a while back, but forgot to post it. Maybe I was afraid of how it
would be received?

Fear is a natural emotion that people will go to great
lengths to avoid when it becomes overwhelming. Excessive levels of fear can
paralyze and cause people to steer clear of pursuing lofty goals and the things
in which they are passionate about. Think of that time in middle school in which
you could not speak to nor approach that person you had a crush on. The intense
fear felt in the pit of your stomach led to silence, avoidance, or a bumbling
mess of nonsense coming out of your mouth. On the opposite end of the fear
spectrum is the lesser version of fear that motivates us work hard and make
conscientious decisions. For example, there is a healthy fear some adolescents
have when facing their parents after getting trouble. This fear, hopefully,
influences the teen to steer clear of vandalism, breaking a curfew, or engaging
in risky behavior. At both ends of the fear spectrum lies passion and one’s
comfort with failure.

There are two types of passion: obsessive and harmonious.
Obsessive passion tends to overwhelm one’s attention and become the dominating 
identity. This is the person who is constantly focused on, talking about, and/or
engaged in their passion of choice. This is the person who only talks of one
aspect of life such as sports, video games, work, or parenting. These
individuals tend to lack a healthy balance between their personal, social, and
professional/athletic/academic life. One of the common negative side effects
this person might encounter is when they fail, which results in a great deal of anger,
depression, anxiety, fear… The reason being, when they fail, it is not just an moment,
they now see themself as failure altogether. Obsessive athletes experience this when they play
poorly, get cut from a team, or do not crack the starting line-up. They become
overwhelmingly upset, angry, anxious, or sad because there is nothing else in
life to distract them and give them a break from obsessively thinking about the
failure. ESPN recently did a story on Jozy Altidore, starting forward for the US 
Men’s National Team. He was a starting forward for the Dutch team AZ Alkmarr
where he scored 23 goals last season. Now he plays for Sunderland in the English
Premier League. After failing to live up to high expectations in the past,
Altidore attributes his current success to finding a healthy balance between
soccer and his personal life, which describes the other type of passion.

Harmonious passion is described as a strong desire to freely engage in your
passion. These individuals love what they do and work extremely hard to reach
lofty goals. They also feel the negative effects of failure; however their
identity is not wrapped so tightly around their passion so that they identify
themself as a faiulre when a mistake is made. These people can still
enjoy other areas of life when they fail. Steven Gerrard, starting center
midfielder for Liverpool explains how he is able to leave soccer on the field.
This ability to psychologically compartmentalize sports from other areas of life contribute to
a healthy mental perspective. Players and professionals who can “leave it on
the field and in the office” allow themselves to take that valuable mental
break and relax/rejuvenate so they are at their best when they must perform in
the future.

Steven Gerrard talks about having some separation from soccer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpi7N5v4otI

Much of the information provided in
this blog post was derived from
the article “Driven By Fear: The Effect of
Success and Failure Information on
Passionate Individuals’ Performance” by
Belanger Lafreniere, Vallerand, and
Kruglanski. (2013.)

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