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Just Play

Letting Go of the Cell Phone

9/2/2013

2 Comments

 
Labor Day is a holiday in which the effort of the American worker
is rewarded with a day off. It is a time to celebrate the social and economic
achievements to the American worker by letting go of the stress, strain, and
demands of being an American worker. The American dream is the notion that
success and prosperity is attainable, regardless of socioeconomic status or
current circumstances, through sheer hard work. 
 
Labor Day and the American dream are connected by the theme of
hard work. The way in which we define “hard work” can change over time and
across situations. One new concept of hard work for many American’s has emerged
over the past 15 years because of the technology explosion. Lap tops, I-Pads,
and especially smart phones have made it increasingly difficult for many people
to relax and disconnect from work. But this contributes to our current and
conflicted definition of hard work. Many people define their hard work not only
by the hours spent on the clock, but now by the hours spent off the clock. As a
result the line between “off the clock” and “on the clock” is becoming less
defined and blurry. Countless people are “enjoying” today’s break from work by
barbequing with friends and family. But the ever present stranglehold of work is
too tight. 20 years ago people only had to contend with their own thoughts
pulling them away from the barbeque and reminding them of work-related tasks.
Today, we still have those same thoughts preventing us from really enjoying our
day off and causing stress, but now we also have more stress in a hand held
convenient device. 

The cell phone has changed the way we do business, the way we
gather information, and the way we play games. In many ways the cell phone has
made life easier, simpler. But in many ways the cell phone has changed the way
we experience anxiety. It has made life more complicated and more stressful. I
wrote a blog a while back about letting go. It has been one of the few entries
to receive comments (Again, I encourage comments for clarifications, questions,
and general discussion.) One concrete strategy in the difficult task of letting
go is to disconnect from the cell phone. In therapy I will often ask to hold the
clients cell phone. This is usually met with uncomfortable compliance. I use
this request as an example of how we tend to hold onto the distractions that
prevent us from letting go whether it is a thought, behavior, feeling, or a cell
phone. In order for therapy to be effective, both the therapist and the client
need to be focused on the therapy. The thought of a new email, text,
facebook message, tweet, or phone call can interfere with
treatment, even if the cell phone never rings or vibrates. The cell phone is a
huge distraction, but it is also a metaphor for the distractions in our head.
And today that cell phone will prevent many of us from enjoying the
moment and the company of those important people in our lives.  Most people
claim to want to enjoy today and forget about work for a while, but that is
difficult to accomplish. Why not keep that cell phone in your pocket, leave it
on your bedroom, or, god forbid, turn it off.
 
The two ironies of this blog are:
1. I am spending valued time on my day off to focus on this blog which is work. 

2. You are reading this blog on your cell phone, lap top, or I-pad. And if
you read this today, you are doing so on a day in which you should
be letting go of all of your stress and worry. However you are glued to
a device that also reminds you of the very things you are trying to let go of.

Many of you may have already seen this youtube video, but I felt compelled to share because it captures the message of this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OINa46HeWg8


2 Comments
Chris link
9/2/2013 10:58:48 am

Ron, this is so true. I think as a user we enable this. By replying to those tweets, emails, Facebook posts or blog posts on days when we should be letting go, we communicate to others that its ok and they can expect a response. Our school administration has set a standard that 24 hours is a expected time to reply to emails from others. A fear I find nearly impossible to complete.
I have also noticed that absolute addiction our young students have to their devices. It tgeir phone vibrates or rings in their pocket they absolutely have to look. When you ask them to set it aside or give it to you they are visibly distraught.
Like everything in life, balance is key. Trying to instill and teach this to our youth is key. One of the best methods to do so is to model the behavior as adults. It takes a conscious effort, but I think a necessary one.

Reply
Ciaran
9/2/2013 11:41:22 am

Smitty, I have two things to add to your insight.
First the nerd answer. Kids in middle and high school really struggle with ignoring their phones because of their brain development. The frontal lobe, which is responsible for logical, well thought out decision making is still developing. Hence impulsive decision to take their phone out in the middle of class rather than thinking, "maybe I shouldn't have my phone out in the middle of class because it might bother the teacher." In addition, the amygdala, which is responsible for emotion and social connections is fully developed. This is why kids are highly likely to rank friendships and being popular as number one on their list. As a result they are willing to risk punishment (or in some cases not even entertain thoughts of punishment) from a teacher just to check texts and facebook updates in the middle of class. The second, and less nerdy factor in this discussion is the inability to tolerate boredom. We all are faced with constant stimulation. Therefore any down time with little stimulation becomes unfamiliar, uncomfortable and for some, intolerable. This holds true for just about everyone regardless of age. The difference is that today's kids have never experienced a "technology free" period of life. I know I'm just as guilty as the typical high school kid for taking out my phone in a moment of boredom. Another strategy that helps people practice letting go is to drive without music. People report amazement when they just monitor their thoughts, think with a purpose, or appreciate the simple joy of driving rather than turning to some external source of stimulation when there is nothing but our "boring thoughts."
Now I should stop being a hypocrite and enjoy may last few hours of summer break, hang out with Jenn and the kids, and stop messing around on my computer.

I hope things are well with you and the family. Thanks for the comment, keep them coming.

Reply



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